I
am having a bad day.
My
bad days rarely come around. Usually when they strike it starts first thing in
the morning and is constant stream of crappy happenings until bedtime. Today is
one of those days.
Normally,
I have very strict rules for my bad days.
- Shut up about your
bad day. Nobody wants to hear about it. Don’t tweet or blog about it,
seriously there are bigger problems than whatever is going on with your
lame excuse for a bad day. Give it up and get over it. You better not make
a Facebook post about it, you whimp.
- Don’t eat everything
in sight. Tomorrow your bad day will be over and you’ll fee like crap if
you eat whatever. The only thing worse than your bad day today is being
bloated and nasty (mean) because you ate crappy food all day yesterday
because you were having a bad day. Give it up, show a little self control
and eat a salad and a burger. Have an iced coffee and maybe a piece of
dark chocolate dipped in almond butter, you will feel better.
- If you watch Sons of
Anarchy, Breaking Bad or any TV show or movie that deals with crime and
bad-assedness you will start a hard as ---- complex in your mind and it
will make you want to smoke (gross). Sit and look at pictures of puppies, YouTube
videos of people falling or watch Katherine Hiegl movies--- you are soft
and malleable (like a teddy bear). Do not forget this or you will start
acting like a thug and people will be intimidated by you for the wrong
reasons. You are a nice girl, who has never gotten in a real fight and
orange would not look good on you.
- No one should know you are having a bad day. You have not mentioned, so how could they know?
I’m
not crazy. I just polished off the first season of ‘Orange
Clearly, I have broken all of those rules today...
So
until its quitting time I am spending my time focusing on these things:
And most of all:
Because not only am I having an Eeyore like day, I am super super lame.
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